The highest levels of separation happen in these beginning months, after everyone has ‘got through’ the holiday season for the children’s sake and other family members, the cracks immerge and you find people can no longer hold things together.
Have you ever thought like what its like to go through divorce later on in life, after 20/30/40 years of marriage?
I can tell you, its scary; there is fear of the unknown, as your whole life is about to be flipped upside down. Many women stay in unhappy marriages because they are too fearful to leave. The thought of having to divide everything you have built, the sheer thought of the legal challenges alone is daunting, a system you don’t understand, (it is not like anyone intends to divorce when they get married) let alone the emotional torment.
I say all of this from experiences, but not as women of Divorce myself, I am in fact, the daughter of divorced parents. I spent 2 years supporting my mom through what can only be described as a very acrimonious divorce.
My mother didn’t leave my father until later on in life. After 28 years of marriage they finally separated, if you ask her now she will tell you it’s the most empowering and frightening thing she has ever done. She chose to stay in a marriage, which in its later years can only be described as an abusive one.
The irony lies in the fact she is a psychotherapist and Coach. She would be described to the outside world as a strong business women who helped so many people turn their lives around, a mother a wife but applying it to your own life is another task in itself.
My mother finally left her marriage after 28 years, it was difficult, knowing for her if it was the right thing. I supported her in this time, I pushed her when she needed it because I knew it was the right thing, it took a lot out of me emotionally, I ended up seeing a counselor myself to help handle my emotions. It was a long road, it was hard for me to watch my mother suffer so long, to be fearful of the unknown, how would she cope financially, was she going to be alone forever ( I knew as an attractive woman she wouldn’t, but it is a daunting and scary realism for her)
Ultimately from our experience we established there is no clear support for women in this situation, we supported each other through her journey, but there are thousands of women that suffer alone some women decide to leave others are thrown into the situation when their husbands leave them. However, whether you leave the marriage, or your partner leaves the marriage, or your partner dies the emotions are the same, you go through the same emotions, a bereavement.
Since starting our journey we have met so many women struggling to cope with their situations. We decided from this we were going to make a change, we were going to build the right support networks for women so women didn’t have to go through it alone, we were going to become that support network for women. Since them we have started Aspire You. We are dedicated to supporting women through divorce and separation later on in life. So they have the support they need to help them on their journey.
- If you’re an alcoholic where do you go?
- Everyone says AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)
- Where do you go if your husband leaves you?
- (It’s not so clear is it) solicitor, counsellor, friends, family
There is nothing that instantly jumps to mind.
We are the support the organization that women know to go to, to receive help, from emotional support with counselling and therapy to practical and financial support with solicitors and financial advisors, with help building self esteem and confidence everything from fashion nutrition to mindset. All offered by professionals, building a community of women who can support each other and know they are not alone. Aspiring to other women’s journeys and achievements.
We aim to become visible to all women who are on this journey as a source of support.